🎠WHY I DIDN’T MAKE PUPPETS
Semi‑serious chronicles of someone who documents, not invents
Alright, let’s get this straight from the start.
I did consider making a sitcom with puppets.
Honestly.
I could already picture it:
“The Manager”, “The Social Media Guy”, “The Communications Officer”, “The Legal Who Really Didn’t Want To Be There”…
All in puppet form, squeaky voices included.
But then I stopped and asked myself a very simple question:
“And how exactly am I supposed to make them?
I’ve never even seen these geniuses in person.
Do I just… make them up?”
And immediately another thought followed:
“Wait—am I stupid?
Wouldn’t that mean doing exactly what they did with me?”
Because let’s not forget, ladies and gentlemen:
they published a case summary blindfolded — no checking, no verifying, no cross‑referencing, not even looking at the dates.
Meanwhile, I work with documents, not imagination.
🎬 The truth is: puppets aren’t needed
Real satire — the kind that makes you laugh and think — doesn’t need invented faces.
It needs real facts.
And in my case, the real facts are so surreal they already look like they were written by a comedy writer on a caffeine overdose.
I don’t need to invent anything.
I just need to tell the story.
And while I tell it, people laugh…
and suddenly everything becomes clear.
📚 I document. They improvise.
Me:
- I collect records
- I check dates
- I cross‑reference communications
- I publish documents
- I build timelines
- I update archives
- I work like water: slow, precise, inevitable
Them:
- They publish without checking
- They ignore communications
- They remove things late
- They hope no one notices
- And then they stumble upon a website full of documents and go:
“But… how does he have all this?”
Easy.
You gave it to me.
At least I don’t work blindfolded.
🎤 Conclusion (with a polite stiletto twist)
So yes, I wanted to make puppets.
But then I realised it would be unfair…
to me.
Because I can’t do satire “blind”.
I can’t invent faces.
I can’t imagine characters.
I’m not them.
I document.
And when you document properly…
reality becomes funnier than any puppet show.